No one likes it when their private space is violated. It is considered rude, for example, for someone you do not know to hug you the first time you meet. This is why we shake hands when we greet others. Shaking hands establishes our personal "space" of at least two arms length. We are comfortable when we keep this distance from others until we become more familiar and mutually desire to move closer in our relationship. This closeness takes time to develop. As long as there is mutual respect and a sharing of common interests, the likelihood is that an appropriately intimate and healthy relationship will develop.
Our tendency as individuals and churches, however, is to keep our distance from others we've been called to seek relationships with. We know that we've been "commissioned" to go into all the world to make disciples of those who do not know Jesus; to be-friend them (Matthew 28:18-20). We have also been "commanded" to partner together (John 13:34-35) as his church. The reality, though, is that too often we have become competitors and critics of one another. This results in our being isolated from rather than intimately relating with one another. What is stopping us from developing healthy relationships with all Christians in our communities and what can we do to change this?
One thing that is stopping us is our distrust of others. We are skeptical when other churches want to partner with us in our community. It is almost as if we think they are spies just wanting to steal our ideas or worse, our resources and members.
Another stop sign is our ignorance. Few of us know the history and rationale for our own traditions let alone those of our neighbor churches. In ignorance we assume they must be wrong in their beliefs and behaviors as a result.
We are also stopped by the simple fear of the unknown. Just as we may be stopped from meeting others at a social event for fear of what might happen, we avoid taking the risk of reaching out in friendship to other churches in our community.
My desire and hope is that others will join with me in making the effort, at least, to not be stopped by these factors. I would suggest replacing our stop signs with yield signs. Instead of being stopped by distrust, what if we just assumed, unless and until proven otherwise, that all Christians and churches can be trusted to relate with us in healthy ways?
Image also if we yielded to educating ourselves about each others traditions, beliefs and practices. Instead of assuming everyone else is wrong, imagine if we sought to understand one another instead.
If fear of the unknown is stopping us because of what "might" happen; imagine if we yielded to the possibility that almost always something positive will happen. Let's major on love and minor in fear for love casts out fear.
I am just scratching the surface of this issue here. I know there are others of you out there who want to see the Body of Christ united in love serving our communities side-by-side. So please join in this conversation sharing your thoughts and ideas for making this possibility a reality.
5 comments:
Bonding is the key to making this happen. There are three types of bonding. Relational, Perceptual, and Material.
Father desires bonding Relational (worship), perceptual (winning souls), material (ask anything in my name).
Hence, we must be willing to serve others in the relational bonding face. This is a faith seed, yielding our rights. This is the seed of love - expecting the best is the only expectation that pleases Father. Anything is wicked. Why? We're not acting in faith. Whatever is not done in faith is SIN.
If we do sin, we reap sin and broken fellowship with Father. In conclusion, without serving others in the Body of Christ I'm fooling an deceiving myself. The love of the Father is not in me. It's only in my head and not my heart.
Focused,
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I'd be interested to know what is happening in the US, and specifically in the Tidewater area (well, you are in Yorktown, so that works) in the way of cross-cultural outreach. I grew up in Williamsburg, lived and worked there, then moved on to other places ... now I am in Germany. one of the key take-aways I think I will have from our time overseas is that reaching out to your community involves a lot of work. It is not just inviting people to attend a Sunday service, to fit into your pre-arranged schedules and events that make up a part of life in a church (or what seems to be church in America). It involves language acquisition, cultural sensitivity, and a willingness to bend or even break the rules that you may have been following in your own life. I have found that there are is a lot more gray in my life where there used to be black-and-white. I do not compromise on the major items (one God, Christ is son of God, salvation by grace,etc.) but I've learned that if my next-door neighbor smokes, drinks, and plays rock-and-roll music, that these things should not be hindrances in my relationship with him, nor a barrier between him and God. It does not mean that I will sit on his back-porch, smoking and drinking and playing loud music until the wee hours ... but it does mean that I may spend some time in smoky bars, getting drinks spilled on my shirt, and listening to loud music as I get to know him better.
What do you find that works best, in an American setting, to reach into the communities around you? What are the communities? Are they national (American)?, international?, mixed? It would be very good to know what we will be coming back into when we return to VA next year ...
Great thoughts and suggestions. I agree -- it does take a lot of work to reach out to those outside of the church -- meaning other Christians. All relationships take work. The more invested we are in the lives of others the richer the experience.
I just finished reading, "Sticky Church," written by a pastor who has pioneered a small group approach to ministry basing the small groups on his sermons. He makes a good point that each of us has only so much relational "capacity" meaning we can only have so many close relationships before we are overloaded. I think this is why getting church people to work at reaching more people is often a struggle. Most of those who really care about the unchurched are already relationally taxed.
So, what will work? The more people who love the Lord who are willing to work at just one or two more relationships with those not connected to a body of believers, the more we will be able to reach.
The good news is that I'm seeing a lot of new efforts being made across denominational, racial, and class lines by average Christians who just want to be a part of what the Holy Spirit of God is up to in our area. This is being seen in efforts to minister to the homeless and financially needy especially. There are many fine Christian people with hearts for those God loves and they are willing to get creative about reaching those turned off to or turned away by the church.
Paul,
You're absolutely right. We're fearful of the unknown. Could it be it's because the Father is unknown who is a spirit. Whatever we give our attention to lives inside of us.
If we give ourselves to Father who is spirit, we connect with everything in the earth. Jesus is the source of all that is created. He declares, "He watches over His word to perform it." Our disconnect is intimacy with Father. So we distrust all that is contrary to our experience.
When we start with Father, our connections are deeper and broader. Why? We're operating like Father - Agape. Love always expects the best. So therefore, when we're in new environments and opportunities the sovereinty of Father becomes our threshold. This frees us from any responsibility of doing or making things right. Righteousness has already gone before us.
He has sent us. We're not going on our own merit or motivation. He sent His word to heal us. Jesus is the living word in us that He sends, as well as the logos, and rhema.
So let's go together with our birthrights of confidence, courage, hope, belief, and trust in Father, the source of our hope.
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