No one likes it when their private space is violated. It is considered rude, for example, for someone you do not know to hug you the first time you meet. This is why we shake hands when we greet others. Shaking hands establishes our personal "space" of at least two arms length. We are comfortable when we keep this distance from others until we become more familiar and mutually desire to move closer in our relationship. This closeness takes time to develop. As long as there is mutual respect and a sharing of common interests, the likelihood is that an appropriately intimate and healthy relationship will develop.
Our tendency as individuals and churches, however, is to keep our distance from others we've been called to seek relationships with. We know that we've been "commissioned" to go into all the world to make disciples of those who do not know Jesus; to be-friend them (Matthew 28:18-20). We have also been "commanded" to partner together (John 13:34-35) as his church. The reality, though, is that too often we have become competitors and critics of one another. This results in our being isolated from rather than intimately relating with one another. What is stopping us from developing healthy relationships with all Christians in our communities and what can we do to change this?
One thing that is stopping us is our distrust of others. We are skeptical when other churches want to partner with us in our community. It is almost as if we think they are spies just wanting to steal our ideas or worse, our resources and members.
Another stop sign is our ignorance. Few of us know the history and rationale for our own traditions let alone those of our neighbor churches. In ignorance we assume they must be wrong in their beliefs and behaviors as a result.
We are also stopped by the simple fear of the unknown. Just as we may be stopped from meeting others at a social event for fear of what might happen, we avoid taking the risk of reaching out in friendship to other churches in our community.
My desire and hope is that others will join with me in making the effort, at least, to not be stopped by these factors. I would suggest replacing our stop signs with yield signs. Instead of being stopped by distrust, what if we just assumed, unless and until proven otherwise, that all Christians and churches can be trusted to relate with us in healthy ways?
Image also if we yielded to educating ourselves about each others traditions, beliefs and practices. Instead of assuming everyone else is wrong, imagine if we sought to understand one another instead.
If fear of the unknown is stopping us because of what "might" happen; imagine if we yielded to the possibility that almost always something positive will happen. Let's major on love and minor in fear for love casts out fear.
I am just scratching the surface of this issue here. I know there are others of you out there who want to see the Body of Christ united in love serving our communities side-by-side. So please join in this conversation sharing your thoughts and ideas for making this possibility a reality.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Stop Signs: BARRIERS TO COMMUNITY TRANSFORMATION
I've been thinking about stop signs. Stop signs have a purpose. They help to regulate traffic and keep us from running into each other. Many a person has been badly injured or killed as the result of someone running a stop sign.
In relationships we call these boundaries. To have healthy relationships we learn to set up appropriate boundaries to ensure our physical and emotional safety. We know that it is best to honor the boundaries others have set. The concern I've had over the years, however, is when these boundaries result in limiting healthy relationships between the church and its community. These stop signs have often become barriers to relating instead of boundaries.
Take for example churches that make no effort to communicate to their visitors they are expected and welcome in their church by offering poor or no signage in the parking lots to direct their guests to the church entrances and preferred parking spaces. These churches do not have anyone at the church doors to be on the lookout for visitors and are not prepared to welcome them when they do find their way in. These are stop signs to the person looking for a warm church community to become a part of.
There are many other stop signs churches use to actively prevent their church from being challenged to consider their neighbor's needs and, therefore, having to change in order to minister to these needs. These come in the form of "concerns." For example, "How are we going to fund that ministry," or "Where are the workers going to come from to lead and teach and manage that new program?" These concerns become stop signs to developing outreach efforts that stop the church from impacting it's community for Christ.
Worse, I believe, are the barriers we have erected between our community churches to working together to reach our communities. We are stopped by our fear of loosing members to other churches, by our concern over theological correctness, and by our prejudices about other church styles and traditions.
Instead of being stopped from relating altogether, we might consider removing some of our barriers, our stop signs, and replacing them with "caution" signs to make sure we are not foolishly tolerating behaviors and practices our Lord would not tolerate and "yield" signs where we adjust our efforts so we can "merge" with others going in the same direction we are headed.
Let's talk about this and make the effort to find ways of relating for the good of the unchurched and hurting of our communities.
In relationships we call these boundaries. To have healthy relationships we learn to set up appropriate boundaries to ensure our physical and emotional safety. We know that it is best to honor the boundaries others have set. The concern I've had over the years, however, is when these boundaries result in limiting healthy relationships between the church and its community. These stop signs have often become barriers to relating instead of boundaries.
Take for example churches that make no effort to communicate to their visitors they are expected and welcome in their church by offering poor or no signage in the parking lots to direct their guests to the church entrances and preferred parking spaces. These churches do not have anyone at the church doors to be on the lookout for visitors and are not prepared to welcome them when they do find their way in. These are stop signs to the person looking for a warm church community to become a part of.
There are many other stop signs churches use to actively prevent their church from being challenged to consider their neighbor's needs and, therefore, having to change in order to minister to these needs. These come in the form of "concerns." For example, "How are we going to fund that ministry," or "Where are the workers going to come from to lead and teach and manage that new program?" These concerns become stop signs to developing outreach efforts that stop the church from impacting it's community for Christ.
Worse, I believe, are the barriers we have erected between our community churches to working together to reach our communities. We are stopped by our fear of loosing members to other churches, by our concern over theological correctness, and by our prejudices about other church styles and traditions.
Instead of being stopped from relating altogether, we might consider removing some of our barriers, our stop signs, and replacing them with "caution" signs to make sure we are not foolishly tolerating behaviors and practices our Lord would not tolerate and "yield" signs where we adjust our efforts so we can "merge" with others going in the same direction we are headed.
Let's talk about this and make the effort to find ways of relating for the good of the unchurched and hurting of our communities.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
The Unity Project: REACHING THE COMMUNITY TOGETHER
Most people agree with me when I suggest that the churches of our communities need to work together to reach our unchurched neighbors. Churches, usually of the same denomination, have been cooperating together to do mission activities outside of their communities for decades. But when we look closely at their cooperative efforts in their own communities we see they are usually not targeting the needs of their unchurched neighbors as much as they are the desires of the members of their churches. Churches will join forces to plan a Christmas or an Easter service, for example, but they will seldom work side-by-side to reach the unmet ministry needs of those not attending their churches. While we may be having some good fellowship with other believers we are not reaching out to meet our neighbors and their needs in Christ together.
Churches are increasingly competing for members and their finances. The rise in programs and activities being offered by most churches reflects this trend. The focus of most of a church's ministries is on meeting the needs and desires of the members themselves. There is little if any effort being made to work with other churches in the community for the purpose of reaching those so far unreached by the churches of the community. Reggie McNeal explores this phenomenon in his book, "The Present Future."
In my efforts to build bridges between the churches in our community and then to encourage these churches to work together I am seeing a lot of busy ministers managing very full ministry plates already. As much as they would like to do more together, they just don't see how they can.
I would like to suggest an option -- the Unity Project. The idea of the Unity Project is for at least two churches to commit to working together on one community outreach/missions project. To free up the money and manpower resources of both churches one of the churches would choose not to do a ministry they had already planned to do, possibly an outreach effort they do annually already. The two churches would then plan a cooperative effort they would co-host in the community. Along with the various meetings that would be needed the church leadership could plan combined worship services where the ministers would take turns preaching about unity and obstacles to unity. Small groups could study the similarities and differences of the two church traditions and dialogue sessions could be planned for sharing among the church and the community members. This is doable but it would require two churches willing to take the risks and make the efforts necessary.
My belief is that the unchurched of our communities would be impressed enough by this effort to attend the event, or events, just to see what is happening. This would be a wonderful testimony to them and to the churches themselves of the uniting power of the love and Spirit of Jesus (see John 13:34-45). What do you think? Would you be willing to give it a try?
Churches are increasingly competing for members and their finances. The rise in programs and activities being offered by most churches reflects this trend. The focus of most of a church's ministries is on meeting the needs and desires of the members themselves. There is little if any effort being made to work with other churches in the community for the purpose of reaching those so far unreached by the churches of the community. Reggie McNeal explores this phenomenon in his book, "The Present Future."
In my efforts to build bridges between the churches in our community and then to encourage these churches to work together I am seeing a lot of busy ministers managing very full ministry plates already. As much as they would like to do more together, they just don't see how they can.
I would like to suggest an option -- the Unity Project. The idea of the Unity Project is for at least two churches to commit to working together on one community outreach/missions project. To free up the money and manpower resources of both churches one of the churches would choose not to do a ministry they had already planned to do, possibly an outreach effort they do annually already. The two churches would then plan a cooperative effort they would co-host in the community. Along with the various meetings that would be needed the church leadership could plan combined worship services where the ministers would take turns preaching about unity and obstacles to unity. Small groups could study the similarities and differences of the two church traditions and dialogue sessions could be planned for sharing among the church and the community members. This is doable but it would require two churches willing to take the risks and make the efforts necessary.
My belief is that the unchurched of our communities would be impressed enough by this effort to attend the event, or events, just to see what is happening. This would be a wonderful testimony to them and to the churches themselves of the uniting power of the love and Spirit of Jesus (see John 13:34-45). What do you think? Would you be willing to give it a try?
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